Things I Did During My Vacation (Dec. 24th - Jan. 4th):

1. Watched my uncle's girlfriend's eighteen-year-old son pretend to be excited over the Malarkey board game I purchased for our Annual Kaufman Family White Elephant Gift Exchange;
2. Had my assistant, Shirlyn, over on Christmas Eve for a wrapping party, complete with Rum & Coke and 2 am trips to the dumpster;
3. Watched two beautiful little munchkins tear open present after present after I had to wake their asses because they still weren't up by 8 am;
4. Had my best friends over on Christmas for a gift exchange and game party, complete with Rum & Coke, Vodka Cranberry's, Tequila shots, and 2 am trips to the hot tub;
5. Stayed at my boss's house until midnight eating prime rib and listening to my daughter sing "Jenny From The Block" on her new karaoke machine;
6. Slept, slept, and slept;
7. Bought a new car;
8. Fell in love.

Sorry I haven't been around in awhile. I needed to just rest. It was wonderful and I'm back with great resolve to make 2004 MY YEAR. Happy New Year to you all. Hope you received your Christmas card if I had your address. Lots of love and peace and all dat shit.

I'm out.