Rediscovering Zen.

Wow. What an amazing morning. So I checked out my comments this morning, appreciated the loving responses, and decided to delve further into the "new" commenters. This story is about Halcyon.

I visited his website, to "meet" the person giving me cyber hugs. And the thoughts and inspiration and questions just started flowing. When did I forget how to live? When did I lose my passion? And where? And what was my passion, again? I don't remember. Can I get it back? Can I "find myself"? Can I ever escape this God-forsaken hamster wheel and join existence again? I'm not sure I remember how to live? What happened to my artistic expression? My joy? My life? My constant smile? Have I resigned myself to this washed-up non-existence?

You all get to see the person through thoughts and written words. You don't get to see the actions. I AM wonderful. I am a very caring, empathetic, merciful, loving, knaive person. Who's been jaded. And who's put up walls. And numbed herself with whatever is available to not feel the sting of this world we've created. I allowed this world to kill the flower, and now I sit, surrounded by weeds, unable to grow or smell pretty. I'm dying.

And the thing is, while I hold out hope that it's not too late, I don't know HOW to get back on the road to living. I'm so far from that path, I'm not sure of my way back.

But here's the piece of me that remembers the other side: I believe I'm here right now, questioning, "speaking" to YOU, because the universe knows my time is not up. She hears me searching for my way, and she is responding.

Wow. There's a side of me you've never seen. Thoughts?